Worthiness is Not Flawlessness
Talk Summary
This post is base on the following talk from Brad Wilcox: Worthiness is not Flawlessness.
1. People often misinterpret messages that they hear in the scriptures or from God's prophets.
I once sent a message to my daughter and son-in-law using the voice-to-text feature on my phone. I said, "Hey, you two. Sure love you." They received, "Hate you two. Should love you." Isn't it amazing how easily a positive and well-intentioned message can be misunderstood? This is what sometimes happens with God's messages of repentance and worthiness.
2. While God loves us as we are He loves us too much to leave us this way and encourages us to qualify for much greater blessings.
Some mistakenly receive the message that repentance and change are unnecessary. God's message is that they are essential. But doesn't God love us despite our shortcomings? Of course! He loves us perfectly. I love my grandchildren, imperfections and all, but that does not mean I don't want them to improve and become all they can become. God loves us as we are, but He also loves us too much to leave us this way.
3. Repentance is not a one time event but a lifetime process of continued transformation until our natures become divine.
Some mistakenly receive the message that repentance is a onetime event. God's message is that, as President Russell M. Nelson has taught, "Repentance ... is a process." Repentance may take time and repeated effort, so forsaking sin and having "no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually" are lifetime pursuits.
4. Taking the Sacrament is like refilling our spiritual gas tank with fuel that will help us keep going for another week.
Life is like a cross-country road trip. We can't reach our destination on one tank of gas. We must refill the tank over and over. Taking the sacrament is like pulling into the gas station. As we repent and renew our covenants, we pledge our willingness to keep the commandments, and God and Christ bless us with the Holy Spirit. In short, we promise to press forward on our journey, and God and Christ promise to refill the tank.
5. Worthiness is not about being flawless but is about one's attitude of continued trying and not giving up.
Some mistakenly receive the message that they are not worthy to participate fully in the gospel because they are not completely free of bad habits. God's message is that worthiness is not flawlessness. Worthiness is being honest and trying.
6. Worthiness is about patient persistence in trying to keep God's law and not about perfectly doing so. God's grace is also given to those who "seek" to keep His commandments.
We must be honest with God, priesthood leaders, and others who love us, and we must strive to keep God's commandments and never give up just because we slip up. Elder Bruce C. Hafen said that developing a Christlike character "requires patience and persistence more than it requires flawlessness." The Lord has said the gifts of the Spirit are "given for the benefit of those who love me and keep all my commandments, and him that seeketh so to do."
7. It is not hypocrisy to struggle with something but to keep trying to overcome it. Hypocrisy is about hiding and lying about our struggles.
His leader responded: "You're not a hypocrite because you have a bad habit you are trying to break. You are a hypocrite if you hide it, lie about it, or try to convince yourself the Church has the problem for maintaining such high standards. Being honest about your actions and taking steps to move forward is not being a hypocrite. It is being a disciple."
8. Weakness is not the same thing as rebellion as God is always merciful to weakness but condemning of rebellion. Weakness is about wanting and trying to follow God but doing so imperfectly. Rebellion is about no longer trying to follow God at all.
This leader quoted Elder Richard G. Scott, who taught: "The Lord sees weaknesses differently than He does rebellion. ... When the Lord speaks of weaknesses, it is always with mercy."
9. We need to look to God to help us with weaknesses and not shame ourselves for having them or rationalize away the need for change.
That perspective gave Damon hope. He realized God was not up there saying, "Damon blew it again." Instead, He was probably saying, "Look how far Damon has come." This young man finally stopped looking down in shame or looking sideways for excuses and rationalizations. He looked up for divine help, and he found it.
10. When we struggle with overcoming sin it is better to sincerely try and thank Jesus for His atonement than to hate and condemn ourselves for not being perfect.
Damon said: "The only time I had turned to God in the past was to ask for forgiveness, but now I also asked for grace-His 'enabling power' [Bible Dictionary, "Grace"]. I had never done that before. These days I spend a lot less time hating myself for what I have done and a lot more time loving Jesus for what He has done."
11. We should look for progress by degrees and not expect all-or-nothing transformations that come instantly.
Considering how long Damon had struggled, it was unhelpful and unrealistic for parents and leaders assisting him to say "never again" too quickly or to arbitrarily set some standard of abstinence to be considered "worthy." Instead, they started with small, reachable goals. They got rid of the all-or-nothing expectations and focused on incremental growth, which allowed Damon to build on a series of successes instead of failures.19 He, like the enslaved people of Limhi, learned he could "prosper by degrees."
12. God's grace is not given after we have overcome our sins but as we are trying to overcome them.
Some mistakenly receive the message that God is waiting to help until after we repent. God's message is that He will help us as we repent. His grace is available to us "no matter where we are in the path of obedience." Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf has said: "God does not need people who are flawless. He seeks those who will offer their 'heart and a willing mind' [Doctrine and Covenants 64:34], and He will make them 'perfect in Christ' [Moroni 10:32-33]."
His grace is not just a prize for the worthy. It is the "divine assistance" He gives that helps us become worthy. It is not just a reward for the righteous. It is the "endowment of strength" He gives that helps us become righteous.
From the Same Conference, Elder Rasband in his talk "things of my soul" echoed the need for us to love ourselves better.
"Third, love yourself. This is where many struggle. Isn't it curious that loving ourselves seems to come less easily than loving others? Yet the Lord has said, "Love thy neighbour as thyself." He values the divinity within us, and so must we. When we are heavy laden with mistakes, heartaches, feelings of inadequacy, disappointment, anger, or sin, the power of the Savior's Atonement is, by divine design, one of the things that lifts the soul."